lil panic at the minor inconvenience store
dreamed about camp rock
i'll be honest,, certainty is an unknown concept to me
so many documeeents
will i see you again
a very lesbian move
every time i see vg i get PUMPED
i don't know how i'd get through another move though lmao
nothing like waking up from a traumatizing dream at the exact moment before it gets better :))))
the way i picked up on her facial expressions & ways of talking & acting so fast TERRIFIES me like i am really a void to fill with whoever i'm hanging out with's personality
writing this essay à la zeub with zero quotes & no notes, only what i remember from the books we have to compare
you know you're in for a ride when you're thinking about presents to get them
my type is people who want to get me into biking
brain said i will know things but be convinced i know nothing
keep dreaming i'm being chased or killing people or both
the way there's really 0 info about her loving women on the whole internet except ~30s of an interview smh
2022 la défaite des homosexuel.les :(
archives archives archives
anne sylvestre & her gf
actually nvm i have no expectations so technically it's already living up
when will france live up to my expectations
with some people things really don't work like any sentence either of you say turn into conflict
anne sylvestre!!! her mind!!!
n'oublie pas ma dauphine à quel point je t'aimais
lots of thoughts! none of them make sense! all of them loud!
i think maybe one should deal with their own guilt by oneself without necessarily trying to get confirmation from the other person whether or not they should feel guilty or not like idk
but he's the only one i can tell!! the only one i can rant to!! the only one i trust because what's the worse that could happen after that!! who else do i turn to!! i'm going to scream!!
nov-dec is the spotify blindspot. listen to that bad song on repeat. no one will know.
gbg: negative degrees
me: no haiiiir
first reading went so well!! everyone is a sweetheart!!
no thoughts just a yearning for blue jupiters
si c'était le dernier snaps so hard even 12 years later
busy being butch at the game
going to watch soccer with other butches
today is a win
can't stop listening to podcasts
the way french teaching languages is so against teaching people how to speak naturally & so for teaching people to speak like a book smh
we have so much more to live
think i just burned myself with shower water because of the contrast with the cold outside oopsy doopsy
au delà d'être une autrice incroyable en plus
fatima daas la plus belle vraiment
forever grateful for olive oil
forever grateful for the cnrtl
oh gosh i haven't driven in a while oops
imagine this working out though
i just received an email, read it, & proceeded to reply to it instantly. so yeah, you could say i'm doing alright.
why are cishet white guys always so obsessed with election politics
"personne utilise iel" more like you have no nb friends smh
thinking about the 10-page essay i wrote in a day
the sweetness of responsibilities resolving themselves >>>
brain no understandy
oh to be gone
i don't want him to be my person anymore but anytime anything happens he's the only one i think of telling
give me the gentleness of friends pls
artists be like "idk how i feel about you" & then exploit your relationship for artistic potential
imagine not thinking about anything
do all artists feel like they're lying?
0 nouvelles de mes potes ahahaha oh well
i just want to be somebody's reason to think thank god for lesbians
i'm going to scream
i've eaten way too much toast these past days
every three months my life repeats but in a new setting this is fun
the problem is i know all the moves
en fait hâte d'être une vieille dame & d'écouter je suis une vieille dame en buvant du thé & en pensant à anne sylvestre qui sera morte depuis longtemps mais encore dans mes oreilles
when in doubt, don't do that
things i want: to run
want to scream
when it doubt, do something
back to being mad at how incapable of having feelings for people i've become >:(
20 bucks le petit mont d'or mon cœur pleure
sleeping with a pile of clothes at the end of my bed so i can pretend the weight is a cat sleeping by my side
stop thinking honey
why is this so complicated ohlala
"i have an idea" is my least favorite sentence
about to create my character's apartment on the sims because i am Dedicated To Writing or something like that
really f4cking played myself on this one smh
the highschool drama NEVER ENDS
love looking at mouth diagrams trying to figure out how to make sounds
manifesting people accepting my rs translations
the way my brain goes back to the oa all the damn time
"ask the hard questions" i repeat after reading my costar, as i ask impossible & useless grammatical clarifications in class
purée c'est trop dur je m'endors
thinking about k3x
anyways, names: pretty cool
thinking about how in miraculous le papillon gives their names to the villains & so the power kinda resides in the names
"looking forward to it," she wrote, completely shitting her pants.
forgot you had to poet to be a poet
hadn't listened to flatboi in a while but it is exactly tonight's mood
merci le mousqueton
thinking about her & her voice (eva)
thinking about her (anne sylvestre)
i will forever have so much tenderness in my heart for her
je suis le pa pi llon
"you can't just be with someone because you don't want to hurt them"
book out book out book out
donnez maison d'édition qui publie de la poésie en traduction grrr
want to delete the whole end part i wrote a few days back it just doesn't fIT
must we really live, & i hate to say this, in a society?
book out tomorrow wtf
too many things to do aaaah
when someone criticizes the book you recommended them & you feel like their esteem of you has probably plummeted & now they hate you
about to take two extra courses for next semester because i, indeed, am capable of studies
book out on monday book out on monday
numbed out about that cancer shit
book printed book printed book printed
thinking about how one of the first things the girl i met with yesterday told me was that she expected me to be taller :))
omar rudberg? a sweetheart
grave la flemme là en fait oops
thinking about archives
he left them!!!!
my kitchen-mate moved out i hope he left the nems in the freezer
things go fast oh no
iels ont dit ok pour une lesbienne mais faudrait pas trop la voir quand même >:(
the lesbian content in l'amour est dans le pré is severely lacking c'est scandaleux
i'm jealous because he gets to go on with his *** **** & i'm stuck
no thoughts only love for my friends
thinking about him (le piercing à l'arcade)
the take on asking pronouns in french is usually "don't & just listen to how people gender themselves" but that can't translate well into english so hm
feeling, what do you call it, joy?
how many languages can i cram into this little brain of mine?
people!! so good!! love seeing real life people in the flesh!!
had a realization about why i'm writing this novel & it just proved once again that i have 0 control over my art & my art has all control over me
oh no my draft email got deleted now i'm back to square one of emailing a therapist
y'a des genxes vraiment je vous adore!!!
watching the circle only for the beautiful gay/lesbian solidarity it gives me
my grammar teacher is such a sweetheart
can you rent puzzles?
getting back into dating*
*learning a new language on the cursed owl app
imagine feeling comfortable looking into someone's eyes lmao
making zines with too many colors again cause i just love the fact they get absolutely fucked up when printed :))
yeah maybe i do miss the times of waiting in the cold in front of the l****** & the meetings until late
yeah maybe my brain is romanticizing that part of my life like it does with every other part of my past
miss hugging my tall friends
i want to make art that is full of rest but unfortunately all i write about is grrrr
thinking about the ocean (obsessively)
donnez plage svp
i need to talk to him about The Thing & i ✨ don't want to at all ✨
going through my notes app to write out au propre the poems i got on there is Not Fun!! so many emotions!! gross!!
you may not need memory to survive but you probably need it to live huh
leos on my mind
you can tell how dedicated i was to that relationship by the fact there are four (4) songs in my playlist about her
correction: is creative nonfiction just real-life fanfiction?
is fiction just real-life fanfiction?
so many new thoughts
all tech people
does chuck e cheese still exist?
about to have a class in a language i do! not! understand
coming home is the softest phrase
oh to watch ghibli movies with someone you feel safe with
should i have stayed? should i have?
sometimes i think the only reason i'm here is because it was the next step
the himbo chronicles
thinking about how chickens' heads don't move
wish the walls weren't so thin they echo
what if we held hands,, & watched portrait de la jeune fille en feu,, & i could tell you all my favorite quotes from it,,
calling my friends >>>
it's raining for the first time (or perhaps the first time while i'm awake?) since i've gotten here & it feels,, appropriate
it feels like this year is just about me preparing to go back
sorry i can't come to the party i'm * checks notes * working on a novel?
what if men just stopped
dreamt i was with them & then when a left the other a cried in my arms & told me she loved me
men are so annoyinggg
didn't see the atlantic this year that's why sad
also remember when i showed her around my hometown?? incredible
sometimes i remember t w is blurbing my next chap & like htf wow
lmao what if i actually want to live in france though
kinda wish i was drinking wine & talking nonsense with her again
(linguistics is definitely ruining my brain)
idk grammar's kinda cool actually
rien me réjouit plus que voir les traductions de la petite dernière sortir une par une, i love fatima daas so much
thought of the day: butches
i can't believe my room smells like her perfume now this is what i get for taking home the little pschitt-pschitt-ed paper thingy from the perfume store
shoes too small or just too new?
never missed french so much as these days
the fact that tendre is both tender & reaching
alright maybe i do feel a little lonely but i can't be bothered to go out again today
i miss the people i didn't know that well at all which sUcks because it's not like i can reach out to them
seems that my floor is cereal-colored
vingt ans de ma vie à penser que c'était sous les soleils des tropiques but it was sunlights all this time
thinking about how they punched a bigot <3
no thoughts, only frustration at not being able to get the books i wanted from the library
so many blonds
(yes i am thinking about names & languages & the self again)
weird having to introduce myself in english & so using my full first name after the past years of introducing myself in french with a shortened version of it
i am cOld i don't like this
every time i get a new tattoo i spend a few weeks really Feeling Myself like y'all i'm so hot it's incredible
love the idea of people reading my poems
hate the idea of people reading my poems
i can't wait to bake pies & i hope the kitchen has an oven
every time i hug my friends it's one last hug before The Last Hug
it feels so scary getting old
thinking about her often (in a gay way)
erasure poems,,, more like erase me poems
erasure poems,,, i think about you a lot
the world is heavy. crying is good. i just want to nap now.
always hungry maybe i should make fries
gosh france is terrible i hate it here
thinking about leaving is terrifying. i would like to rest. preferably in the bed of someone i love, while they're in the room busy with something else. safety in their smell & their presence.
i miss finding the notes you'd leave me in the morning.
clothes bring me but little joy
i'm getting obsessed with how to code websites damn
sorry can't come to the phone rn, i'm rethinking all my artistic persona
i keep forgetting the pasta water
lots of thoughts. brain on loop
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